Rabbit Branch Photography

“It’s just 4 walls and a roof” my wife said as I was in the middle of my 3rd emotional breakdown of the day. She was trying to console me, and I love her so much for it, but 905 Wood Avenue was so much more than just a house for me.

It was my favorite Christmas gathering every year, it was where cans of Chef Boyardee Spaghetti and Meatballs(my favorite food as a kid) were always in the cabinet just for me, it was where Nanny and I would stay up all night watching old John Wayne and Elvis movies. It was family. It was togetherness. It was cousins, aunts, uncles, family friends, and all the other people that I don’t have any more.

It was freedom, it was happiness, it was love. All the things I didn’t feel anywhere else growing up, or at least not nearly as much.

It was the only place where I was able to be who I wanted to be without being bullied or shamed for it. Nobody made me feel stupid for thinking I could learn how to fly just by wearing a blanket as a cape or thinking a Spider-Man mask was all I needed to be able to climb the walls. Nobody made me feel weird for enjoying sci-fi movies, or for reading and learning and just being a nerd in general. Whatever dumb ideas I came up with, Nanny and Poppa would just let me try it for myself. They always encouraged me to learn and explore and ask questions and be curious about the world. They were the gold standard of what grandparents should be and I hope one day I get to live up to their example.

It’s been 7 years since Nanny passed and I still feel her absence every single day. She was the last grandparent I had left and I wish so badly that I could call her and tell how much I miss her. She’d be tickled to death to hear how happy Savanah was today to be given some of her “retro” clothes and costume jewelry and how proud I am of Scott, Christian, and Savanah for everything they are and everything they’re growing up to be.

The house has finally been sold, and I thought I was ready to let it go. However, as I walked through and turned all the lights off for the last time this evening I realized that I’m not and I don’t think I ever really will be.

I’ve left a lot of houses behind in my life, but none of them hurt like having to say goodbye to this one for the last time. It wasn’t just a house. It truly was my home. It was where all the happiest memories from my childhood were created. What Kelita was reminding me was that the memories are with me, not the house itself. So as much as I hate it, it’s time to let it go. I can only hope it can be for someone else what it was to me.